You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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