Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
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Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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