woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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