fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize