We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize