Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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