You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize