if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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