I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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