The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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