if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
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I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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