I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize