I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize