you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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