sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize