May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize