He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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