I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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