some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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