that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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