Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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