Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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