Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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