I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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