Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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