Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize