hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize