I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
In America we eat man semen.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize