real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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