Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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