I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize