don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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