If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize