dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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