i think i have two assholes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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