its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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