I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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