also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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