i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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