My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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