thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
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I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
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want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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