so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize