Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize