you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am mentally ready for anal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize