Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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