I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize