in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The Olympian is in my bed
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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