I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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