Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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