i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
try to milk me bitch
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