They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
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I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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